im gonna live like im dying...

bored with the re runs of small time america i headed to los angeles… where pilot season never ends… around every corner, life is fresh and new with a never ending rotating cast and crew… tire of one series, no worries, pick up stakes, head down the street… avenues and avenues of excitement to explore in tinsel town…

big city gal in my heart i knew i truly was, i washed away those little town blues… tossed away my overalls… said sayonara nebraska cornfields and hello sushi roku… pop became a soda, my brown hair turned to blonde, stars where everywhere here… at home, only in the sky… los angeles was the bomb… for the first time in my life, i felt at home…

i scorned the idea of existing anywhere other than here… who would ever dream of leaving perfection… the exquisitely remodeled garden of eden… golden pavers beneath my feet, champagne flowing from city drinking fountains, botox by the boatloads, young buff boys at my beckon call, minions all about telling my ears any and everything i want to hear, blowing smoke up my recently bleached asshole…

who in their right mind would ever leave nirvana other than in an diamond encrusted casket designed by gucci… although i did hear about a place downtown that does a pretty damn good knock- off… seriously… its worth checking out… its so hard to tell these days…

clearly im not in my right mind… not only did i leave the big punch bowl but i now find myself craving the simple life… im seeing beauty in green for gods sake… and vivid green as in the green grass… how gauche… the muppets may be in but kermit is so out… omg that i even know that is frightening… what the fffffff is happening to me… for real… things are getting out of control… who am i… howd i get here and how much is it gonna cost to fix me…

i woke up one day and said get me out of here… im a celebrity… only im not one which made that moment even more poignant… thats how it started… i realized id hit rock bottom… i had fallen to the lowest of lows… i had become a reality tv junkie… if i was serious about turning my life around there was only one thing to do…

i had to go crazy…

today’s “must have” fun fact…

please click here for the amazing lyrics to princes

lets go crazy!!!!

http://www.lyricsdepot.com/prince/lets-go-crazy.html

needless to say after grizzlys family baptismal ceremony in the lo lo mai springs duck pond all three of us needed a good washing… oh goodie more cleaning… good lord thats all i ever do these days… cept nothing ever stays clean… or organized… i am having difficulties maintaining semblance… not that caring what others think is the reason for my distress… its that i just cant to find a way to make my new life work cohesively… i used to be fastidious in all areas pre barbies dream house days… can it be that embracing a whole new life means i have to give up all the good things of the old one… i sure hope i havent thrown the baby out with the bathwater…

admittedly, im an undercover slob… if ever there was an angel/devil shoulder situation going on in my life, this would be it… that damn devil harps at me day and nite… ive named him parker since parkers always prodding/encouraging/needling me to do what i really truly want to… that which i have to work oh so hard not to… just let those dishes sit on the counter… one night… whats gonna happen… give yourself a break… you deserve it… youre a rebel after all… besides you got nothing to do tomorrow… you can clean, clean clean away then…relax… have another cocktail… on shoulder number two sits ms angel, who ive appropriately named barbie… seeing as it is her dream house after all… barbies sweat soft voice squeals in my ear… you should be ashamed of yourself… letting my beautiful castle fall into such disarray… i will not allow you to disgrace me… clean this pig sty up… dont force me to call mattel…

it would be nice if she could spend a week with me to get a better understanding of what i deal with… all that i have in this world, cept for some boxes in my parents storage and 2 antique dressers and a bakers rack keeping my friend cheryl company, cruises around the country in the same space i do… like most inanimate objects they dont roll with the potholes like i do… they become extremely attached to the place i last set them and they fight vigorously to retain their status quo… ive had to say fare thee well to those who just refuse to adapt…

there has to be a way to find a balance… equilibrium can be maintained in most all situations… its just a fact… so why do i struggle… do i still have one foot in the past keeping me from embracing this complete disconnect with los angeles… could i be conflicted in some manner which is making life in bdh unnecessarily tumultuous… is it possible that although my body is now assimilated with gypsyhood my spirit has not… ive rid myself of practically all earthly possessions cept the main essentials, yet i still cant seem to find anything…. i cant help feel that there is some disconnect in correlation with my mind, body and spirit… when the idea of leaving it all behind for adventure, the minute that concept hit my brain, i knew it was the right fit… i felt certain all of me was going with the flow…apparently ive encountered a log jam…

good thing im in sedona… where on every street corner i can pick up crystals, energy vortexes, tea tree oils, eye of the newts and vodoo dolls… i dropped the boys off for a spit and shine then wandered the strip mall hoping some inexpensive,shiny,magical trinket would jump into my arms, solving all my issues… three hours later, disheartened, thirsty and empty handed i paid the 75 dollar petsmart ransom and headed back to the old homestead… cornville, usa…

sitting by the river at lo lo mai, contemplating dinner possibilities, my body is assaulted by severe stinging sensations… my extremities attacked from all angles, welts forming before my eyes, an onslaught of unprovoked aggression from the unknown… what could be happening… what does it all mean… i sat in place pondering what message the universe is trying to share with me until i could take the pain no more… my body on fire i found refuge in the cold, clean, cascading water of my shower… my weirdly mosquito sensitive body is having allergic reactions… thats what that means… thats all it means… the meaning of life available in an aerosol can of johnson and johnsons OFF…

honestly, its ok im not having any spiritual revelations… im afraid of heights… if id come to sedona a few years earlier, in my past incarnation, and nothing spiritual had bonked me over the head, i would have been pissed…seriously, i would have expected to leave the area with the key to the universe, matching shoes and a backstage pass to the next dali lama concert… or i would have threatened to complain to the higher power… then demanded my money back…

i chuckled at the absurdity of me, while wolf, grizz and i snuggled together in my brown puffy camping world chair, staring into the bonfire, in the most beautiful campground ive ever stayed… my second chuckle was interrupted by fire trucks surreally driving right in front of me, making their way through the campground… wtf… the snow was on fire…. this for sure had major significant meaning… its well into april, in 100 degree heat, in the middle of nowhere and the snow caught on fire… technically its tree cotton but in pictures it looks just the same… could/should this mean something/anything/everything….

luckily, the blaze was doused in no time… boy it sure got the campground buzzing/gossiping… the word on the gravel walkway was that illegal incineration had occurred… the guilty woman supposedly fled the grounds… making for a salacious ending… parker would have loved it… he can create a housewife reality show out of any situation… i grabbed a bucket of sorts, filled it with water and extinguished my fire… with all the snow flying round better safe than sorry… having a messy rv is a heck of a lot better than having a messy rv on fire…

today’s “must have ” fun fact…

click here to read about advantages to being messy…

http://records-management.bestmanagementarticles.com/a-5254-messiness-has-hidden-benefits.aspx

click here to ck out the lo lo mai springs campground…

http://lolomai.com/

i concur with anyone and everyone who believe sedona is magical… in a sweaty sort of way… damn its hot here… i made several attempts to explore the numerous hiking trails throughout sedona however, leaving grizz in 102 degree heat would most likely culminate in some sort of disastrous outcome so i had to forgo exploration this go around… not having a second vehicle puts me at an extreme disadvantage… pulling into strip malls/grocery stores/drycleaners in my 32 foot monstrosity is difficult enough… not being able to valet park is a travesty… im gonna have to figure something out… apparently my extremely low mileage mint condition mercedes benz c230 cannot be towed behind bdh… oh dear oh my whats a girl like me to do…

my car was still in los angeles… my heart/head/mind/soul/dogs were not… i knew there was no way in hades i could continue on with my journey without the use of a separate vehicle… my friend cheryl has a friend named paul who would be willing to trade me a 2005 honda element with 68,000 miles on it for my 2005 mercedes with 28,000 miles on it… an element would be the perfect car for me under my current circumstances… from what id heard i could literally hose the insides out… omg how my life has changed… ive traded my chic upscale townhouse for a shit can on wheels, my mercedes benz for a honda and my designer shoes have become chew toys for my dogs… green acres here i am…

i needed some time to assimilate all of this… may as well take advantage of the spiritual properties in the area and meditate on the whole damn mess id gotten myself into… see if there was any way to salvage some pieces of what i used to be… it was not going to be at the rancho sedona rv park… they were filled to the rim with brim… the closest rv park to the actual city of sedona was near a town called cornville… seeing as corn is my most favorite food in the whole wide world i took this as a positive sign… i love corn in every/all capacity.. corn soup, corn chowder, corn tamales, corn fritters, corn cakes,corn on the cob, popcorn, corn dogs, kitten corn, white corn, corn relish, creamed corn, cornish hen and cornbeef… we made our way to lo lo mai springs campground which was located about 12 miles from the first campground… due to the stellar way in which i manage to completely discombobulate directions i pulled into the campground an hour later… owner david met me at the sign in area happy to hear id finally made it… i must have sounded pretty frazzled when i called for directions a half hour earlier…

what a beautiful campground this is i commented to david as he drove me around the place letting me pick whichever site suited me… he explained its family owned… i felt pretty sure he was part of the family… i enjoyed his welcoming spirit… i had just left malibu beach rv park which was managed on the opposite end of the spectrum… it appears that a pleasant, smiling, welcoming demeanor sends harmful electric waves to the staff at malibu rv park… so extremely unpleasant that they have no choice but to pay it forward to all who enter their hallowed grounds… honestly my focus is trained to see the positive… i so very rarely make disparaging remarks about much but in the hopes for positive change i will offer encouragement to the employees at malibu rv park… kindly excavate the corncobs mired deeply up your rear orifices, take a class in customer service, and be nice… just be nice… if you cant be nice than figure out why you are so miserable… the bottom line is those who have to deal with you only have to for a limited time… you are the ones who have to live with yourself forever… may as well figure out how to be happier… its a much better way to exist…

once david and his staff made sure we were all settled in i took the boys for a nice stroll… lo lo mai springs is expansive… along with rv sites for all sizes, they have tent sites located along the river as well as cabins available in numerous capacities… theres a picturesque duck pond, a swimming pool/jacuzzi, as well as the river surrounding the perimeters… i was told by numerous staff members that there are ancient indian dwellings located somewhere above… i could never get any definitive directions… not wanting to roam the wilds of arizona i opted to limit my exploration to the campground itself…

both of my dogs have been inside or on leash for most of the past 8 months… i was dying to let them run around in their natural state… id enabled wolfs treats addiction with such veracity that only the stringent of rehabs would break him of it… i had no choice… it was the only iron clad assurance i had that he would no longer run away… grizzs addiction was starting to take hold so i felt confident hed stay close if i let them roam freely… besides grizzly’s intense separation anxiety kept him at my arms length… grizz literally screams when he cant see me… who can blame him really… feeling confident, i let them loose… how much fun it is to watch the two of them run around, chasing each other, wrestling together… so fast the two of them… zipping here, there and…. omg omg omg s**t f**k[;q[=pl[+(*&*^^$^@#$^W%^&((*&_(()+_()_+O WTF wtf there goes grizzly running straight into the duck pond… im screaming as i jump in after him to save my 13 week baby from drowning… yet hes slipping away from me… wtf… no hes not slipping away from me… hes swimming away from me… wolf jumps in the pond to save me saving grizzly only grizzly is swimming away from the both of us…

thank god i got ahold of my baby boy in a short amount of time… we were all sopping wet… as well as stinky slimy and scared… my nerves were shattered… without any thought to anything i instinctively leaped into that pond without a care for myself… wolf jumped in to save us without any thought to himself… i smiled, then cried as i felt this incredible surge of love for my boys… im really getting the whole motherly love thing… wild… i wasnt sure if i really had it in me… omg how my life has changed… has it ever…

today’s ” must have” fun fact…

after the days events i opened up a nice bottle of chardonnay aptly titled duck pond:

click here to read all about it…

http://www.duckpondcellars.com/DP-Duck-Pond-Facts.aspx

click here for lo lo mai springs:

http://lolomai.com/

sedona arizona… the perfect place to reflect, review, regroup, renew… i had heard about this spiritual mecca of the west for many years yet had never taken the trek… it was one of those places i figured id get to eventually… only thing is had i not decided to live like im dying checking out this arizona oasis would probably still be on my to do list as my ashes are scattered throughout the colorado rockies…

a snowstorm in flagstaff kept me from joining my family in the grand canyon… kind of a bummer… would have been fun to see the big hole with loved ones… flagstaff is about 40 minutes east of  sedona and about 40 minutes west of the grand canyon yet due to the extreme elevation changes, heading in the wrong direction could freeze my tanks… or my water filter… which i learned the hard way is just as detrimental… im all for learning by experience… by the time i know all there is to know ill have achieved a doctorate in rv ownership… as well as the receipts to prove it… 

the red rocks of sedona rise up out of nowhere… they are truly beautiful… damn… the united states continues to amaze me… so many spectacular landscapes that literally take my breath away… similar yet absolutely unique… its getting increasingly difficult to pinpoint a favorite… ive tried to, yet, when i decided that  zion is my favorite my mind goes to the smokeys… yeah the smokies are fantastic but maine,  omg maine is spectacular… but how can i overlook the florida keys… wow now im thinking sedona but ive yet to see new mexico… its impossible to pick just one… from here on out i will not even attempt to make a choice… what gives me immense satisfaction is that i am starting to feel like ive actually seen a lot of s**t…

i am also immensely relieved that heading into the unknown awoke the butterflies in my stomach… they were fluttering like crazy… the excitement of a new adventure flooded my body with adrenalin… it still surprises me that i have these feelings… like im not really sure im this person i am right now… ive been called a wanderlust, a free spirit, an adventurer, an idiot, a person who marches to their own drum… or drummer… 

inside i dont see myself anything like im described.. except maybe sometimes i do feel like an idiiot… i really just feel like im living my life… kinda like poker.. so many people think thats such a cool thing… making a living playing poker… it was kinda cool for a while but it was a job… just like any other job… and it was my everyday thing so to me it wasnt any big stink… i understand that i choose to live a life that most people dont… but the reality of it all is that my life is just like everyone elses… i get up, brush my teeth, walk the dogs and get on with it…

my life is much more challenging than it was before… every day im presented with an issue, a struggle, a set back of some sort… any pre conceived ideas that living life on the road would be cost effective have been murdered… wishful hopes of oodles of money making opportunities flowing to me have evaporated along with thousands of dollars of gas fumes… romantic visions of all/any sort have squashed just as messily as the millions of bugs against my windshield… sometimes i cant even comprehend that im doing what im doing… 

whats so cool about right now is that im getting exactly what i asked for… 

and im having the time of my life…

today’s “must have” fun fact…

the red rocks of sedona…

http://azstateparks.com/parks/rero/index.html